The Successful Cousin Syndrome – Comparing Yourself in Trading and in Life
Daniel started trading motivated by the stories of his cousin, who seemed to make money easily. Every family gathering was the same: his cousin talked about his profits and how he had doubled his account. Daniel, on the other hand, faced losses and slow progress. Soon he began to feel frustrated, as if nothing was ever enough. This feeling is known as “the successful cousin syndrome”: comparing yourself to others instead of focusing on your own path.
The Danger of Comparisons
In the markets, comparing yourself to other traders is a trap. Every account is different, every strategy carries its own risk, and each person has their own learning process. Obsessing over what others achieve can lead to overtrading (trading excessively due to anxiety) or taking unnecessary risks just to “catch up.”
Figure 1. Trader A advances steadily, while Trader B progresses more slowly. Comparing only creates frustration instead of motivation.
Real-Life Analogy
The same happens in life. The student who compares themselves to the best in the class feels inadequate. The worker who compares themselves to a promoted colleague feels demotivated. The entrepreneur who compares themselves to someone who succeeded faster feels frustrated. Comparisons are rarely fair, because every path is unique.
Our Experience
Since 1997, Ismael Monte de Oca and I, Marlen Gonzalez, since 2011, have seen how traders who compare themselves to others end up losing their way. At the same time, we’ve guided students who learned to focus on their own process—and when they stopped comparing, they truly began to progress. In our Seminar, we teach that success in trading is not measured against others, but against yourself: your discipline, your patience, and your growth.
Conclusion
The successful cousin syndrome is a mental trap that drains energy and focus. Real progress comes when you stop comparing and start measuring your advancement based on your own path. In trading, as in life, the only real competition is yourself.
